3 Words That Scare The Hell Out Of Me (and why I chose them anyway)

I give myself a mantra to grow into. This year’s terrifies me more than any that came before — and I think I finally understand why.

It started in 2012, then became a proper practice eight years later. Here’s the full list:

• 2012 — Life is meant to be lived, not endured
• 2020 —Personal freedom is an inside job
• 2022 — Life is Good!
• 2023 — I love what I do for a LIVING!
• 2024 — Good deeds done well
• 2025 — Be good, do good, and let everything else take care of itself
• 2026 — Unbridled. Untethered. Unforgettable.

When I re-read this list I can see my whole evolution staring back at me. I can see what frustrated me, what held me back, what I finally cracked open.

That first one — life is meant to be lived, not endured — showed up in 2012, the year I walked away from my 27-year marriage. I had been thinking about leaving for seven years before I actually did it. Seven years. What kept me frozen wasn’t love — it was fear. Don’t get me wrong, my husband was a good man, it just I wasn’t happy in my life, when I realized that I was looking for something that was missing for me, I had to go to find it. I had watched so many women leave and struggle, and I was terrified that would be me. I didn’t want to just survive my own life. I wanted to actually live it.

These mantras were part of my growth and I didn’t know it at the time — that first mantra was my permission slip to try.

Some of the others I have nailed. A couple I’m still working on. But 2026’s? That one scares me and excites me every time I say it out loud.

Here’s a truth I haven’t talked about until now (and although some people have seen it, I will say not too many) – I don’t just dim my light around other people. Sometimes I cover it completely.

Not long ago I was telling a woman how impactful her speech had been. How beautifully raw it was. How much courage it took to share what she shared. I meant every word — my heart was wide open and my enthusiasm was real. Her response floored me. She suggested I was being inauthentic.

I was horrified.

I knew that her words said far more about her than about me, and they landed directly in my hidden spot — that tender, unhealed place that has always wondered if being fully myself is simply too much for the world to hold. So I shut up. Immediately. Because I didn’t want to make it worse for either of us.

That’s what I do. That’s what I’ve always done.

I don’t know the exact moment I first made myself invisible but I know it started when I was very young. I have a memory of being four, maybe five years old. I wasn’t aware but my mother was navigating her own complications and I was left largely in the care of my older brothers. My brother describes our childhood like this — “our mother raised us like chickens. Gave us food and shelter and that was about it.”

That’s a lot for a little girl to make sense of. And somewhere in that little girl’s mind, a belief quietly took root — that she needed to be small, undemanding, easy. That being too much was worse than being nothing at all.

I have carried that belief for more than 60 years without even knowing it had a name.

I know that’s exactly why these three words showed up for me this year. Unbridled. Untethered. Unforgettable. Not because I’ve mastered them — but because it’s finally time to try.

So here’s what I’ve decided. I’m choosing to step into these words every single day — for myself, and for every woman watching me try. And when I fall short — because I will — I’m not picking up the stick I used to beat myself with. I’m going into compassion mode. Reset mode. Start again mode.

I would do it for my best friend without blinking an eye! It’s long past time I did it for myself.

So tell me — if you had to describe yourself in three words or a short sentence right now, not your roles, just YOU — what would they be? Drop your words in a comment below. I want to know who you really are or who you see yourself to be.

Every woman deserves the best that love and life have to offer. Yes, including me. And yes — including you. ❤️